


Make We Now A Gay Appointment

by penlex



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Holidays, Pre-Relationship, Sexuality Discovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-09-17 09:20:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16971909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/penlex/pseuds/penlex
Summary: Emily posts a Craigslist ad for a same sex escort to her family's Christmas dinner. But she's still straight though!





	Make We Now A Gay Appointment

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: fake dating

Emily is completely fed up with her family’s conservative nonsense. She has to go back home from where she’s staying in Chicago earning her Master’s in Religious History, which she has allowed all her aunts and grandmas and cousins to believe is a Theological degree. But there’s only so long Emily can grin and bear it. Her mother has been getting onto her about finding a husband and having babies for half a decade now, and last year even her father and her big brother started in on it too.

In the middle of the night, after a long few hours of seething in bed and trying to go to sleep, Emily just snaps. She posts an impulsive, and frankly problematic, Craigslist ad.

“Looking for a fake girlfriend to take home and piss my parents off with” she types. She's straight she says, but she’s looking for someone that a group of white Midwestern Catholics would disapprove of as much as possible. She posts it in the dark with the blue-white glow of her laptop screen glaring into her tired eyes, and then she’s finally able to succumb to those sweet Z’s.

In the morning it seems like it was a dream. Emily has the breakfast of champions - gas station cappuccino and a slightly stale bearclaw - and then attends her last final of the semester. It’s only when Emily finally gets back home and opens up her laptop that she realizes her post from last night is real, and that she has a response.

In the waiting email, Emily’s responder describes herself briefly. Her name is Jess and she’s black, and Jewish, and bisexual, and she has tattoos and piercings and she doesn’t wear a bra. Her own family kicked her out and she’s tired of the pitying looks she gets from her friends’ families when she goes to holidays with them. Besides, she thinks it might be a little cathartic to stick it to someone else’s family after being wronged by her own. She only has the condition that she can cut and run at any time for any reason. Emily thinks that’s more than reasonable.

At the end of the email there’s an embedded selfie of how Jess looks. She’s absolutely gorgeous. She looks like a Black Kim K. She looks like the Christie Barbie doll. She’s not even wearing any makeup in the picture and her hair is back in a plain ponytail that obscures the length. Her skin is perfect. She has dimples. Her eyes shine like they’re the midnight sky lit by the full moon.

With her heart racing for some unknown reason, Emily emails Jess back with the details of her family’s Christmas plans.

**Author's Note:**

> Come chill with me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/penlex)!


End file.
